


Fifty Kisses

by Gyhl



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: ...and there was only one bed, F/M, Fluff, I only have six of these planned so far, M/M, Multi, NB!Eggsy sometimes, idk yet, more characters and ships might happen, more tags to come too, probably, some light kink, what d'you mean kisses are supposed to be romantic and not comedy?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:15:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21512116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gyhl/pseuds/Gyhl
Summary: Sorta swiped the idea from anArcana writing challenge.It's 50 ficlets, each surrounding a kiss. They won't be in order, so the chapter title will be the prompt.
Relationships: Daisy & Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin, Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 38
Kudos: 73





	1. As a 'Yes'

It didn’t matter _how_ it had happened; all that mattered was that it had gone pear-shaped and fast.

It was Merlin’s first time in the field. He’d just been promoted to the rank and Arthur felt he should have field experience. Arthur had paired Galahad with him, and now Galahad wasn’t sure if the problem had been bad information, pure bad luck, or - and the thought horrified him - a mole within Kingsman. Whichever it had been, they’d found themselves captured and fitted with a pair of electronic bracelets; bracelets they had been assured would explode if they got more than a metre and a half apart.

It had been two days before they’d had a chance to escape. It hadn’t been an easy escape, either. They’d found it easy enough to keep pace with one another, and fighting together had come about as easily to them as waltzing had come to a very young Harry Hart. But every so often, the bracelets would let out a warning beep and they’d have to fall back so they were closer.

They’d managed to slip away, mostly unnoticed. The few guards they met outside were easily dispatched, and they jogged away from it; a quick jog, but a jog nonetheless. Harry knew approximately how far away the closest Kingsman safe house was, but it would still be hours. They were forced to slow to a walk and it was night by the time they reached the safe house. Merlin sent off a quick, coded message to Kingsman while Harry got them water and broke into the non-perishables.

And then Merlin looked at Harry with an expression that was kin to amusement. “Yer a mess.”

“Well, of course, I’m a mess,” Harry said, his tone bordering on being scandalized. “We were being held captive, not on holiday at the Four Seasons.” He huffed. “You’re no better, by the way. You’re dirty, sweat-stained, and you have quite a bit of blood on your suit.”

Merlin’s grin grew. “And yer the same… except for your hair. I’ve never seen it sticking up in quite so many directions before.”

Harry actually flushed at that and he tried to smooth down his hair. “It’s… nothing some time in the bath won’t cure.”

Merlin’s brow rose. “So… yer plannin’ on a shower?”

“Absolutely, I-” Harry cut himself off. “Oh. Right. Um.”

Merlin chuckled. He’d never seen Harry so disheveled, physically _or_ emotionally. “We’ll go take showers.”

“There… ah… there aren’t exactly changes of fresh clothing here.”

Merlin shrugged. “There are towels, aren’t there?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, so we dry off and wrap up in the towels. Tomorrow, assuming the extraction team arrives, we’ll put the suits back on until we’re back.”

“I…”

Harry swallowed hard. He’d developed feelings for Merlin over the last few years. He’d never said anything to the man. Relationships were frowned upon in Kingsman, but there was more to it than that. There was the difference in their ranks and there was his relationship to Chester, to his mentor; Merlin might not feel able to refuse him. And the idea of staying that close while he showered, of lounging around the safe house in nothing but towels… they brought up feelings that were Extremely Inappropriate.

“For fuck’s sake, Harry. It’s not like yeh’ve never been around a naked man before.” He stood up. “ _I_ ’m taking a shower.”

Harry watched Merlin head toward the bath and he quickly followed. Merlin shed his dirty suit jacket and tossed it on a side table as he passed it. He opened the door to the bath and stopped dead. He shook his head after a moment and started laughing.

“What?”

He stepped aside and motioned to the room. Harry looked inside. There was a good sized claw foot bathtub in the room, but no shower. Why did that suddenly make it all the worse? Knowing that there wouldn’t be a curtain between them, but a bit of fiberglass; knowing that Merlin would be sitting in the water, running a washcloth over his taut muscles; the soft splashing of water.

“Harry? Are you alright?”

“Perfectly fine,” he said a little too quickly.

They went into the bathroom and Harry turned away so Merlin could have some privacy. He heard Merlin moving around as he undressed and then heard the water start in the bathtub. Merlin sighed and the water shut off.

Harry turned his head a bit, not enough to look over his shoulder but close. “Problem?”

“This house isn’t used often, is it?”

“Not as far as I’m aware.”

Merlin turned the water back on, only for a few moments, and Harry could hear him splashing it. “The water came out rusty.”

Harry grimaced. “Lovely.”

“It’s fine, Harry. It’s running clear and I cleaned out the rusted water.” He turned the water back on and waited while the tub started to fill. “Are you really just going to stand there the entire time?”

“I’m not sure what you’re asking,” Harry said primly.

Merlin chuckled. “You can sit down.”

Harry felt his cheeks burning. “Oh. Of course.”

He sat and listened to the sounds of the water filling the bathtub and Merlin settling in. He wasn’t much of a bath man, but every so often he’d have one; generally after a particularly difficult mission. They could be a lovely way to relax, especially with a bottle of wine and something fairly light scented in the water. Or even with another person. That was something he… hadn’t actually done in quite some time. Not outside of the occasional mission that required it.

“Oh, _fuck_ me.”

This time Harry _did_ turn his head all the way around. There wasn’t a whole lot to see from his vantage point on the floor, but he did see that Merlin was leaning toward the tap. “What is it?”

Merlin shut the water off. “The water is barely to my waist and it’s out of hot.”

Harry sighed a little irritably. His first thought was to go check the water heater, but the combination of rusty water and the sudden loss of hot water told him enough. “It’s possible the water heater just failed.”

“Which… means this is the only hot bath.”

“Yes.” Harry shook his head. “I’ll take a cold one after.”

Merlin was quiet for a moment. “You could always join me.”

“I could _what_?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “I’m not hitting on you, Harry. We can sit back-to-back if that’ll make you more comfortable.”

Harry stood up and walked around the tub toward the counter. He got close enough to toss his clothes on it as he stripped. He turned around and saw that Merlin had already moved to one end of the bathtub so that he could join him. Harry went over to him and climbed in behind him.

“I have to admit,” Merlin began, “I’m a bit surprised.”

“By?”

“You specialize in honeypot missions and yet you’re _this_ uncomfortable sharing a bath with someone in a completely non-sexual sense.”

Harry rather pointedly ignored the comment. He could feel Merlin shifting against his back every so often. It was dumbly, stupidly erotic - it shouldn’t have been, _at all_ \- and he was _not_ looking forward to getting _out_ of the water.

“Harry?”

“Hm?”

“I asked if you wanted me to do your back.”

“I…”

“For fuck’s sake, Harry. Please don’t tell me you buy into the whole ‘gay men can’t control themselves’ bullshit.”

Harry turned to face him. “I most certainly do _not_ think that.”

Merlin eyed him for a moment. “Are you aware, at all, that you’re blushing a bit?”

Harry turned back around. It was a moment before he felt his back being rubbed with a very wet washcloth. He leaned forward a bit, a soft sigh escaping him before he could bite it down. He felt Merlin’s hands on his shoulders after a moment.

“Do you want to do me?” Merlin asked, his tone so utterly innocent that it was anything but.

“I- What? No!”

“My _back_ , Harry,” Merlin said with a laugh. “You know, I’m starting to think there’s something to the idea that the more prim and proper a man acts, the dirtier he actually is.”

Harry looked over his shoulder. “ _You_ are encouraging it.”

“Perhaps a bit,” Merlin tipped his head slightly in a half-shrug. “I’ll stop teasing you.”

Harry shook his head and then turned around so he could wash Merlin’s back. “So, um, why _are_ you teasing me?”

Merlin chuckled. “I told you, I’m not making a pass at you. I’ve just… never seen you blush before. It’s cute.”

Harry smiled a little to himself. “Oh.”

After Harry finished with Merlin’s back, Merlin got out so Harry could wash out his hair. By the time Harry finished, Merlin had dried off and had a towel wrapped around himself a bit like a terry cloth kilt. He handed Harry one and waited while Harry dried off.

“Bed?”

Harry nodded. “That sounds… perfect.”

It was the only other room in the safe house and they went to it. Harry opened the door and then just lowered his head and laughed. Because of course. Of fucking course. He felt Merlin’s hand on his shoulder as the other man looked over his shoulder to see what he was laughing at.

“No fresh clothes, no hot water… why would there be more than one bed?”

That got Harry laughing harder and he leaned back against Merlin without thinking about it. Merlin put his hands on Harry’s upper arms and guided him through the door. He let Harry sit on the bed while he looked for extra blankets in the closet.

“Well, whatever’s on the bed is what we have.”

“You know,” Harry said, “I think I’m going to have a talk with Arthur about having these safe houses better stocked.”

Merlin looked at Harry and then at the bed. “I hope you realize I’m not sleeping in a towel.” 

Harry pulled back the covers before answer. “There’s a sheet and a blanket. Which would you like?”

Merlin crossed his arms. “We could… just share them.”

“We could, yes.”

“Do yeh wanna talk about it?”

Harry shook his head. “About what?”

Merlin sighed and sat beside him. “About you having feelings for me.”

“What. I. Who. Who even _suggested_ that?”

Merlin laughed. “Harry, I’ve watched you flirt with everyone you come across for five years. It’s almost a game for you, seeing if you can sweep someone off their feet in a single interaction. But when it comes to me? You get flustered, you stammer, you protest.” Merlin watched him for a moment. “You have _never_ flirted with me.”

“That doesn’t…” Harry trailed off and then sighed. “Fine, that is _precisely_ the problem. I have feelings for you; rather strong ones at that. I’m not trying to imply that I wouldn’t be capable of keeping control of myself. It would just…”

“Mean something to you that it wouldn’t mean to me?”

Harry tipped his head from one side to the other. “Something that like, yes.”

“Why don’t you ask me what I’d think about it?”

Harry frowned a little. “To what end? Or are you intimating that you have feelings for me, as well?”

Merlin reached out to him and stroked his cheek. He pulled Harry close and kissed him, softly at first and then more insistently. Harry’s arms slipped around Merlin’s neck and he leaned back, pulling Merlin with him. 

He let his hands slip down to Merlin’s shoulders. “Shall I take that as a ‘yes’?”

Merlin laughed softly. “Unless you _want_ to take it as a ‘no’.”

“I’d rather not, honestly.”

Merlin hummed and leaned down to kiss him again, and again, and again. There would not be much in the way of sleep for either of them. Come morning, when the extraction team - all two of them - arrived, they would still be asleep and in each other’s arms. At least they would have enough warning to pull away from each other ane make it less obvious what had happened between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my wife is hyperfixated on otome games right now. The one she was playing had the bracelets, bath, and bed in it. And then she smiled and went "Harry and Merlin?" like the evil little shit she is.
> 
> Also, I am far too in love with the idea of younger!Harry not being able to just flirt his way around Merlin. idk why, I just do.


	2. To Pretend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71OPYr8Qu5L._UX466_.jpg) is Roxy's dress.

Galahad and Lancelot had been sent on a mission together. It wasn’t one that really _needed_ more than a single person, but it was at a ball. A single person would have stood out more than a pair. And certainly they _still_ stood out as a pair, but in a much more appropriate way.

Galahad was dressed much as the other men, in black suit and tie. He had his usual glasses in place, and looked little different from how he normally did. But that was par for the course when it came to menswear at formal events. There was very little room for variation when it came to black tie.

Lancelot, on the other hand, had been given the task of both looking unique without breaking beyond the general dress code. She was in a champagne colored, empire-waist gown. It had a v-neck with a sweep train. The chest and bottom were heavily decorated with lace applique; the same trailed down from the waist until it vanished at her knees. Her hair was done up in a French twist, and decorated with a ‘hair pin’ which was actually a sheathed dagger.

Her shoes, which were only visible for mere moments as they danced, had six inch heels. The heels brought her up to Galahad's height and they could, quite literally, kill a man. R&D had taken the idea of Gazelle’s prosthetics and combined them with standard Kingsman shoes. At a click of her heels, the shoes would extend small, thick points that could cut or stab with ease. And, somehow, they were comfortable. R&D had made an honestly _comfortable_ heel.

Her only real complain with the outfit… was _her_ pair of glasses. Arthur had insisted that the standard pair would clash with her outfit. She’d been given a pair with rectangular frames for the mission, and she did _not_ like the way the HUD had been changed for them. She would be _more_ than happy to trade them for her standard pair.

They played their parts well for several hours, sometimes dancing, sometimes mingling, until they saw their target leave the room. They exchanged a glance and Galahad followed their target. Lancelot kept up the act while he was gone, chatting with a couple men who’d come up to her now that her date had gone for a moment. 

Galahad returned quickly enough and made to kiss her on the temple. “I got it,” he murmured against her skin.

She flashed a smile to the others. “If you’ll excuse us,” she turned toward Galahad. “I believe you still owe me a dance.”

He laughed softly and looked at the others. “I’ve been dancing with her all night, and yet I still owe her more. Excuse us, gentlemen.”

They heard the others laugh good-naturedly as they walked away. They danced again, using the movements of it to move back towards the entrance. It took them a couple songs to get that way without disturbing the other dancers _or_ being obvious about it. They made their way off of the dance floor and, after a subtle look around, made their way through the exit. They headed down the corridor toward the building’s entrance and were a turn away when Merlin’s voice was in their ears.

“ _Target’s noticed it’s missing._ ”

“Fuck,” Galahad spat under his breath.

“Do we have time to get out?”

“ _No._ ”

Galahad grabbed Lancelot by the arm and dragged her down a darkened hallway.

“What do you-”

“Shut up,” he said as he pushed her against the wall.

He slipped his hand between dress and train, leaving his hand covered but still obviously low on her hip. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers, forcibly opening hers against his but doing nothing more. He felt her tense for a moment and then her arms were around him.

They heard rushing footfalls nearing and Lancelot let out a quiet, muffled keening noise just as the footfalls approached their hallway. They slowed just long enough to look at the pair who were, clearly, just slipping away to snog before passing by.

“ _Clear,_ ” Merlin said.

Galahad pulled away, snapping his hand away from her arse like it was hot. “Sorry, just seemed the easiest way.”

“No,” she shook her head. “I… quite agree, but…” She held up one finger. “We are _never_ speaking of this.”

“ _Stop fuckin’ around and get out of there._ ”

“Yes, Merlin,” she said as they started moving.

“ _And you two never have to speak about it._ ”

“Good.”

It wasn’t that Lancelot wasn’t a lovely woman, but she was… she was his _bruv_. You don’t just go around snoggin’ your bruvs. He was just glad Merlin wasn’t takin’ the piss outta them over it. Their handler was _blessedly_ silent on the matter as they left the building and got in their car.

“ _Don’t worry about others finding out about this._ ”

“Thank you, Merlin,” Lancelot said.

“ _The footage will stay safely locked in my computers, where only_ I _will be able to access it. Should… anyone need it._ ”

“Merlin,” Galahad growled.

“We could always kill him.”

“Arthur’d try'n kill _us_ , and I ain’t killin’ them _both_.”

“Short range EMP?”

Galahad shook his head. “Nah, his stuff’s shielded.”

“ _You two realize I_ can _hear you?_ ”

Lancelot smiled. “Of course we do, but I think you’ll keep that footage locked away nicely.”

“ _Yeah?_ ”

“Didn’t you tell us that Colonel Ketchup and T.J. like to chew on your jumpers?”

Galahad started snickering. The cairn terrier and pug puppies had gotten their tiny mouths on one of Merlin’s jumpers one day and they’d come home to find it _all_ over the house. Merlin had kept them _firmly_ locked out of the bedroom ever since.

“ _If yeh do that…_ ”

“Only if anyone ever sees the footage of that which we do not speak of.”

Merlin sighed and then laughed. “ _Alright, yeh’ve got me beat. The footage will suffer an, ah, unfortunate accident._ ”

“Appreciate it, Merls. _Merlin_.” Galahad grinned. “Sorry, really.”

“ _Don’t make me save a copy_ just _for you_.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sir.”

Lancelot looked at him and started laughing. _Only_ Eggsy would bait Merlin during something like this and let him have the upper hand again. But that was a game between the two of _them_ and didn’t include her, and therefore didn’t actually include the footage of them having to fake a kiss for the mission. Maybe next time a mission involved going to a ball, she could convince Arthur to recall Amelia from the Berlin office and then she could stick to a suit and her normal glasses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Colonel Ketchup was my wife's suggestion in another ficlet and... uh... I tend to keep the same names for people across fics cos that's easier for everyone.  
> T.J. is Terry Jeffords since the Brooklyn 99 characters on a list of fictional secret agents.


	3. To Distract

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this](https://66.media.tumblr.com/cec6263e16e67fe048ce7baebb746015/cebb31381eb72238-d6/s540x810/b3cadc1714a2fb6fa2623120e76ebe13414fc2cd.gif) image.

Merlin had been working for ten hours straight. Most of his lunch was still sitting on his desk, where it had been for the last six hours. He’d been coding for most of it. They’d come up with a new program for the Kingsman glasses and they’d found some very serious bugs; serious bugs that were hiding well.

He heard a knock at the door and nearly snarled. Kingsman agents and staff knew better than to disturb him when he was deep in code. He was gonna have the head of whoever decided they just _had_ to bother him.

“What?!”

The door opened and in walked Eggsy. He had a long coat on, still buttoned up. “So… you standin’ me up or somethin’?”

Merlin watched him for a moment and then groaned. “Right. We had a date. Sorry.”

“I tried callin’. Your mobile goes right to voicemail, glasses can’t get you, and the landline just rings.”

“Off, off, unplugged.”

Eggsy looked at Merlin’s desk and saw the remains of his lunch. He raised his brow at the quartermaster. “What’s the problem?”

“Software bugs that keep avoiding me,” he sighed. “Every time I think I’ve solved it, it’s still there. At this point, we may have to just rewrite the entire program.”

“And you’ve been… workin’ on this since noon?”

Merlin shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “Somethin’ like that, yeah.”

Eggsy shook his head. “You need a break.”

“No, I need ta get this fixed.”

“You realize an hour of work followed by a short break keeps you workin’ better? At this point, you’re prob’ly lookin’ right past the errors.”

Merlin shook his head and sighed. “If I’m honest, yer probably right.”

“Damn right I am,” Eggsy said, a grin forming. “A bit of a distraction and a snack’ll help.”

Merlin nodded. “I _could_ use a snack.”

Eggsy’s grin just grew and he unbuttoned the coat. He had nothing on under it but a bustier. It was black and lace. The top of it laced up like a corset, pushing his pecs up into something that could almost be called a bosom. It was open on the sides and the bottom came down at an angle, giving the bustier - and thus Eggsy - something of an hourglass look. He had suspenders on, holding up thigh-high stockings. They ended in a pair of sheer strap platform heels.

Merlin let out a soft groan at the sight of him. He held a hand out to Eggsy. Eggsy chuckled and let the coat drop. He sauntered over to Merlin and straddled his lap. He slid his hands up Merlin’s arms to his shoulders. He leaned forward and kissed Merlin’s neck; kissed and then bit.

Merlin’s hands slid up Eggsy’s back and he groaned softly. “Is this treatment something I should expect when I work late?”

Eggsy laughed softly. “Mm-hmm. I’ll get all done up like this...” he kissed Merlin’s neck again “...and I’ll come visit you…” and then his jaw “...I’ll tease you like this…” he kissed Merlin and ground against him before whispering “and then I’ll go home.”

“You. What?”

Eggsy grinned. “Well, it wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me to get fucked in your office,” he said, batting his eyes in an imitation of Harry’s patented innocent look.

Merlin laughed, a soft and low sound. “Then I suppose I’ll finish up and head home.”

“You’ve got two hours,” Eggsy said.

Merlin slid a hand up into his hair and pulled. “Since you’re feeling lingerie tonight…”

Eggsy hissed a breath and tipped his head back. “Mm-hmm?”

“Makeup,” he ordered. “Mascara and that red lipstick I bought you, at the minimum, and when I get home, I’m going ta fuck you until you’re a sweaty, crying mess.”

“Then guess you better be home within the time limit, or I’ll just have to have Harry take everything off of me and fuck me,” Eggsy grinned. “Don’t worry; he’ll send pictures.”

Merlin’s hand tightened in Eggsy’s hair again and he kissed him. “I’ll be home within the hour.”


	4. On a Falling Tear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kinda ended up being a double prompt, cos [this](https://images.plurk.com/3ey6ou8I5k4tynMUiCyKkZ.png) got used as the basis.

Galahad left the conference room, trying to keep his face neutral. He’d been sent on a mission that, well, that _he’d_ felt some backup would be necessary on. And it wasn’t that Arthur had denied sending backup with him; it was _how_ the man had said it.

“I would expect an agent to be capable of handling this on their own.”

There was just enough derision in the words, just enough disappointment in Arthur’s eyes, for Galahad to have felt like a complete failure. He’d just laughed it off in the conference room and told Arthur it had been a joke, and a bad one at that. 

He’d gone on the mission and, well, it _would_ have gone smoother if it had been two people and not just him. But… that was _his_ fault. Clearly. Because an agent should be capable enough on his own. He returned from the mission, denied any trouble to Arthur (who… was quite pleased by that), and went down to train. He would just… make himself better so things like this didn’t happen again.

***

It had been a couple weeks since the mission and Eggsy had decided to have a night out with the boys. He was nearly pissed. He hadn’t planned on it, but then he’d get thinking about what Arthur had said and he’d feel hurt all over again, and made the clearly logical choice to have another drink.

It was still hours before last call when he sent the boys home in a Kingsman car. He didn’t call one for himself, and instead opted to walk. It wasn’t far; just a handful of kilometres. It’d take him an hour or so, but his head’d be clear by then.

He was drunk enough that, as he walked, he missed the sounds of someone following him. The first blow sent him reeling. He was still off balance when the next blow came. He tried to get his balance again, but his reflexes were too dulled from the alcohol and, once he was down, he gave up and just let the beating come. Because if he was a better agent, shit like this wouldn’t happen.

He didn’t bother waking Harry or Merlin when he got home; he’d just tell them in the morning that he’d gotten into a fight.. He showered and took care of the wounds the mugger had left on him. He went downstairs to call and cancel the cards he’d had on him (wouldn’t _that_ be wonderful; Harry waking up to see random crazy-arsed charges across their accounts). He knew Merlin could get him a new copy of his license, but he’d go take care of it himself. There was no reason to let either of them know he’d lost the fight.

***

Merlin wasn’t fooled. He’d seen the way Eggsy had been acting for the last few weeks, the way he’d been training. He looked into their accounts and saw that Eggsy’s cards had been canceled and reissued in the middle of the night. He pulled up the footage from the CCTV cams between the house and the pub he knew Eggsy had been at. It didn’t take him long to find the mugging. He watched, growing more and more concerned as it went on.

He reset the footage and connected to Arthur’s glasses. “Could you come down here, please?”

“ _Of course_.”

It was only a couple minutes before Harry was in his office. Merlin played the footage for him and watched as Harry’s lips thinned until they nearly vanished. Merlin told him the rest that he’d found. By the time he finished, he could see the thinly veiled anger in Harry’s face.

“Where is he?”

“Showers.”

Without another word, he turned and left Merlin’s office. He went down to the showers and waited. He didn’t have to wait long. Eggsy came out of the shower and stopped when he saw Arthur.

“Yes, sir?”

“Eggsy.” The name came out short, clipped, angry. He took a breath, pushing down his anger at the man who’d beaten and robbed Eggsy and at Eggsy hiding it. “I know you were mugged.”

“Does that have something to do with Kingsman? Sir?”

Harry flinched at the question. It was a subtle thing, an almost imperceptible thing, but it was there. It wasn’t just Eggsy’s formality; it was his _tone_. It was distant, his words short and clipped. 

“Of course not,” he said softly. “It _does_ , however, have something to do with _us_. Why didn’t you tell me? Or Merlin?”

“I wasn’t aware that I needed to report it to you, sir.”

Harry watched him for a moment. “You know what I meant.”

Eggsy set his jaw. “I don’t. want. to talk about it.”

He tried to push past Harry, to get to the changing stall he’d left his civvies in. Harry grabbed him by the arm, his grip like a vice. Eggsy turned toward him, intending to fight his way out of it, but quickly found himself pushed up against the wall. 

And that was when Harry realized how very close to tears Eggsy was. He let go of Eggsy but didn’t move back from him. “What is it? Please tell me.”

Eggsy pushed past him and, this time, Harry let him go. “Just go.”

“Eggsy, I don’t-”

“Just _go_!”

Harry sighed softly and went to the door. He tried it and found it was locked. He turned the lock and it snapped shut again. “Merlin,” he muttered. “Eggsy, I can’t leave.”

“Look, I don’t care if you’re sorry, just leave me the fuck alone!”

That struck Harry. He’d had no idea that Eggsy had been upset with him. There’d been something off, yes, and he’d been moody… but Harry’d had no idea it was because of _him_.

“ _He can’t leave; neither of you can_ ,” came Merlin’s voice over the shower PA speakers. “ _I’ve locked you both in, and I will_ keep _the doors locked until you talk about whatever the fuck the problem is_.”

Eggsy rolled his eyes and started getting dressed. He knew Merlin was enough of a stubborn arse to keep to that threat. Still, he didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to admit just how much Harry had hurt him.

“Eggsy, whatever I did… I assure you, it was not intentional,” he said. “I cannot fix the problem until I know what it was.”

“I’m takin’ care of it.”

“Oh, yes, I can see that.”

Eggsy heard the sarcasm in his voice and stepped out of the changing stall. He was still shirtless. “I’ve been trainin’. A lot.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed. You’re going to end up exhausting yourself.”

Eggsy shrugged. “You ain’t gotta worry; I’ll get through whatever the next mission is. Alone.”

Harry made a soft sound. “Is _that_ what this is about? My feeling that it was a one-man mission?” He shook his head. “Your report-” He stopped and sighed softly. “You lied?”

Eggsy shrugged again. “Didn’t wanna disappoint you more,” he muttered.

“Disappoint me? How?”

“I’d already disappointed you by askin’ for backup.”

Harry shook his head. “No, you did not. Did I… come off that way to you?”

Eggsy looked away from him and nodded.

Harry went to him and put his hands on Eggsy’s arms. Eggsy looked up at him and Harry could see that he had, indeed, been crying at some point. He curled his fingers under Eggsy’s chin and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, to a tear on his cheek, and to one on his jaw.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I never meant to make you think I was disappointed in you. Is that why you didn’t tell us about the mugging?”

“Yeah… figured you’d just…” he shrugged.

“Tell me next time. Pull me into my office or talk to me at home. Don’t just let it fester like this, alright?” He smiled a little. “Unless you _want_ Merlin to lock us in a room again.”

“I’ll talk to you next time. Promise.”


	5. Because He's Running Out of Time

Eggsy had _no one_ to blame but himself, and he knew it.

Two weeks ago, he and Roxy had started a rather spirited version of Truth or Dare. There was no truth; only dares. They were to be completed on Kingsman grounds (preferably without being seen although cameras didn’t count) before the end of the day, could not interfere with a mission, and could not be things that would get them kicked out.

Eggsy’s dares had gotten more and more brazen; Roxy had met each thing he’d dared. Hers… hadn’t been escalating the way his had been. That should have been his _first_ clue that she was up to _something_.

“I dare you…” she had whispered to him. “...to break into Merlin’s office…”

He’d scoffed. “Easy.”

“And kiss him,” she finished with a wicked little smile.

“I hate you,” he’d hissed, and then he heard her laugh.

Because she knew - she _knew_ \- that he’d been crushing _hard_ on Merlin and hadn’t gotten up the nerve to do anything about it. And he’d been dragging his feet all day. Roxy had been smirking at him every single time she passed him.

And now he was standing outside Merlin’s office. He wasn’t going to have to break in per se; he’d found out the passcode and Merlin just… didn’t know. He sighed to himself and put the code in. The lock changed from red to green and he heard it unlock.

Merlin didn’t even look up when Eggsy entered. “You know, I’ve been ignoring yer little game because it hasn’t interfered with anything. But breaking in to _my_ office?”

“Yeah, well… ain’t like I’m messin’ with nothin’. And… you’re in here, so you’ll know what I do?”

Merlin looked up finally and turned in his chair, his arms crossing. “And just _what_ are yeh plannin’ on doing?”

Eggsy went over to him, each step feeling more difficult than the last. Merlin was looking up at him; Eggsy was certain Merlin was hiding his curiosity beneath that annoyed look. He _hoped_ so anyway.

“Well?” the handler barked.

Eggsy took a brief moment to consider every single life choice he had ever made, and then leaned down and kissed Merlin on the lips. He was gonna just do it and run, but then Merlin’s hand was on the back of his neck, holding him there. He felt Merlin’s other arm around him, pulling him down onto his lap. Eggsy let his arms go around Merlin’s neck as he felt Merlin’s mouth opening against his own.

This was _not_ how he’d expected this dare to go.

He heard Merlin’s glasses chime and tried to pull away, but he was held still.

“Mm-hmm?”

“ _Merlin, are you busy?_ ”

“Mm-hmm.”

“ _Can you tear yourself away long enough to come to my office?_ ”

“Uh-uh.”

“ _Merlin, I’d like you to turn visual on, if you please._ ”

Merlin broke the kiss long enough to shut his glasses off and toss them on the desk. He'd deal with Harry later. “Now… where were we?”


	6. As a Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this](https://images.plurk.com/6gi8x8qck8P5fVzMRZgfTV.jpg)
> 
> Also this is post Golden Circle (whatchu mean Roxy and Merlin died? I don't remember that), so Whiskey is new!Whiskey/ex-Ginger Ale

It was supposed to be an interagency training initiative, focusing on trust building between Kingsman and Statesmen. On the Kingsman side was Arthur, Merlin, Galahad, Lancelot, and their new Bors; on the Statesman side was Champagne, their new Ginger Ale, Tequila, Whiskey, and Rum. It was only once they arrived, that the Kingsmen realized ‘training’ - in this case - meant both agencies playing laser tag.

“It’ll be fun,” Champ said with a grin and handed out folded slips of paper to everyone. “Nine of these say ‘agent’; one of them says ‘assassin'’. I don't know who the assassin is, so don't no one ask. The agents’ job is to figure out which of us is the killer before they kill all of us.”

They each looked at their slip of paper before stowing it away in a pocket. The Kingsmen were looking among each other; each studying the others faces and postures, trying to determine if it was one of them and whom.

“It’s one of the Americans,” Galahad said after a few moments. “I can read them-” he nodded towards his fellow Kingsmen “-well enough to know it ain’t them.”

“Or it’s you,” Tequila said.

“Me? That's profilin’! Just cos I'm a bit chav, you automatically think it’s me.”

Tequila laughed. “We’re s’pposed to be profilin’.”

Galahad tipped him a wink. “Shall we, then? Lookin’ forward to baggin’ me an assassin named Tequila.”

“Rules’re simple: no clumpin’, no clusterin’. You find someone dead, you yell for the others. If you’re accused of being the killer, your paper can serve as ‘proof’ that you ain’t,” Champ said. “And if you die, no sayin’ who did it. You're a corpse.”

They went inside and split up. It was dark, the low lighting throwing shadows everywhere. Ginger was jumpy. He’d never taken part in one of these; he wasn't an agent. But Kingsman was bringing one of their new people, so Champ had decided they needed a new person, too. He heard a noise and spun, laser gun coming up shakily.

“Easy,” they said as they came closer. “If I had been planning on shooting you, you... would be dead.”

“Well, thank fuck,” Ginger sighed. “I ain’t good at these kinda games. Only held a gun twice in my life.”

“Don’t worry. We can stick together,” they said. “I believe it takes three people to be a ‘clump’.”

Ginger grinned. “Well... then I guess that’s two down. We’ll have this figured in no time.”

“Perhaps.”

“What d'you mean?"

They shot.

“Oh. You.” He sighed. “You fuckin’ liar.”

They hummed softly. “Says the corpse. Give me your slip and lay down like a dead man.”

He gave them his slip... and then was given theirs in return. “That's cold, dude.”

“Yes,” they agreed and walked away.

*

They all came running at Champ’s yell. There was Ginger, laying on the ground. The corpse closed his eyes when everyone showed up; he didn’t want to out his ‘killer’ by looking at them too much.

“Champ was here first,” Lancelot said. “I think it only fair we prove it wasn’t him.”

“Easy ‘nough,” Champ said and held out his slip. “There’s my proof.”

Galahad scoffed and crouched by Ginger. “Mate, gimme your slip.” He took it and opened it before standing up again. “Our killer switched slips. Ain’t proof, Champ.”

“Whose proposal was he?” Arthur asked.

Champ shot him a dirty look. “ _Mine_ , if you must.”

“Cain't be Champ,” Tequila said. “Been with him the last five minutes.”

“You can tell how long a corpse has been dead based on temperature,” Whiskey said. “How long’ve you been dead, corpse?”

“Uh... at least ten minutes.”

“That... doesn’t clear Champ,” she said.

“One can tell if a shooter was close by the presence powder burns,” Merlin said. “How close was your shooter?”

“Point fucking blank.”

“It certainly sounds as if it was Champ,” Arthur said. “That said, however, I would like to think that nine spies could kill a tenth without being quite so obvious. I would think our assassin wants us to think it's Champ.”

“Who else was Ginger close to?” Lancelot asked.

Champ sighed, irritably. “Just me, and only a Statesman would know that.’

‘Told ya it’s an American,” Galahad grinned.

“Shall we shoot them all then?” Lancelot asked with a less-than-restrained grin.

“Hey, now!” Tequila protested. “We’re s’pposed to be buildin’ trust here. It’s just as likely it was a Kingsman, maybe more so cos Galahad here said outside that it was one of us.”

“ _Gentlemen_ ,” Arthur said mildly. “I would suggest we break back up and attempt to catch the assassin in the act. They aren’t going to make a move with all of us here.”

“Agreed,” Champ said.

*

An hour later and their numbers were greatly reduced. Kingmsn had Arthur, Merlin, and Galahad left; Statesmen had Champ, Tequila, and Whiskey left. Arthur came upon a body - Whiskey, and she’d been pulled into a niche - and called for the others. Merlin and Champ were the only two who came.

“Well,” Champ said, “I think we’ve narrowed down our pool.”

Arthur nodded. “Indeed, we have.”

“How long’ve you been dead, body?” Champ grumbled.

“Most of an hour,” she said. “Do you realize you’ve all passed me _at least_ once? _Wonderful_ Agent training.”

“Clearly, that’s Champ’s guilt talking,” Merlin teased.

“I think, perhaps, we should attempt to locate both Galahad and Tequila,” Harry suggested. “If she’s been dead for an hour, one of _them_ could be dead, as well.”

“Rule’s said no clumpin’,” Champ said.

“Considering it’s either Tequila or Galahad, unless they’re _both_ dead, in which case it’s one of us,” Merlin said. “I think the rule’s moot at this point.”

They searched for the other two, being careful to watch each other. It only took a couple minutes for them to find Tequila. He had his slip and a second on his chest. The three surviving agents each showed their own slip.

“Tequila was right,” Champ said. “Was your man all along.”

“Looks that way,” Merlin said with a nod.

“Knowing him,” Harry mused, “he’s found a niche like Whiskey was left in and is just waiting for us to pass by him.”

They went searching, looking for another niche that Galahad could be hiding in. It took a while before they found it; it was a nicely hidden spot, masked by the dark. Two of the agents took it, coming from either side. They had just long enough to recognize Galahad, slumped on the floor, before they were shot in turn.

*

Galahad had been hidden away in a niche. After they’d found Lancelot, he’d been certain of who the assassin was. He'd found a niche to hide away in; now all he had to do was wait for him to pass by and kill him.

While he had been waiting, the assassin passed by his hiding space. The assassin had turned and looked, their eyes meeting for a moment. The assassin had brought his gun up; Galahad had held his arms up.

“Ain’t me,” he'd said.

The assassin had lowered his weapon slowly. “Of course not, because it’s me.”

Galahad had snorted a laugh. “Point taken,” he'd said. “Really ain’t me though. But I know who it is?”

“Do you?” the assassin had asked, hiding a grin. The assassin had looked from one side to the other before slipping into the niche. “How did you figure it out?”

“The way Rox was shot,” he'd said with a grin.

“Always knew you were intelligent,” the assassin had purred and pushed him up against the wall.

Eggsy’s arms had gone around his neck and they'd kissed. He'd felt one hand slip down to his crotch and give his cock a not-exactly-gentle squeeze.

“You know, we gonna get caught like this.”

“We won’t,” the assassin had whispered.

Eggsy had laughed and kissed him again… only to hear the buzzer on his armor go off. He'd broken the kiss and looked down at the gun he’d just been shot with. “You…”

Merlin had smirked. “Me,” he'd agreed, holding up Eggsy’s slip. He'd kissed Eggsy once more and then walked away.


	7. Where It Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short, but it's cute and gd if we don't need some cute rn.

The mission hadn’t gone strictly as planned. Sure, they’d gotten their target, done everything they’d been sent to do, but Galahad had managed to be injured in the process. The worst of it was a gash deep enough that it had nearly cut open his cheek. Arthur had, to mild protests from the agent, benched him until he healed; or, at least, healed enough to be back in the office.

Which led to Eggsy sitting on the sofa at home, certainly not sulking. He got it, really, but that didn’t mean he liked it. The one and only good thing about it… was getting to watch Daise while their mum went out for some ‘me time’.

“How come you got hurt?” Daise asked from the vicinity of his lap. They were curled up together, watching a movie she’d been wanting to see.

“Oh, you know,” Eggsy said with a slight grin. “Customers can be like that sometimes.”

She looked up at him with _big eyes_. “They _can_?”

“Yep,” Eggsy said sagely. “Was a rich bloke, didn’t like how we made his suit. Really rude, that.”

“Did you beat him up?”

Eggsy gave her a shocked look. “Me? You really think _I_ ’d beat up a bloke for cuttin’ me?”

“Uh-huh,” she said with a very serious nod.

He chuckled. “Yeah, okay, you got me; I beat him up.”

She shifted so she could sit up on him and gave his bandages a kiss with a loud _smack_. “Did I make it better?”

He kissed her forehead. “Yeah, you made it loads better, babe.”


	8. In Secrecy

His tablet beeped. Merlin paused in what he was doing and looked at it. He _really_ needed to figure out how to get messages over the glasses feed. It had been his pet project for a couple years now. He’d _almost_ gotten it to work, too. A little window would pop up when a message was sent, but it would come out in gibberish instead of text.

But that was beside the current point. The message he’d gotten was short and simple: a time and a place. He looked up at the clock. The time was in ten minutes. He sighed softly, double checked everything, and got one of his subordinates (fuck, he was still getting used to _that_ ) to keep an eye on the feeds, in case any of the agents checked in.

He went to the location in the message, and got a coffee and a sandwich. He sat at a table that wasn’t near any of the windows and started slowly eating. It was several minutes before Harry came in. Harry got his own lunch and then looked at him, feigning surprise at seeing him.

“Why, Mr. Fleming, what a surprise seeing you here.”

“Always a pleasure, Mr. Moore,” Merlin said. Two could play _that_ game. “Would you care to join me?”

“I would, indeed.”

Harry took a seat and they bullshitted some casual talk as they ate; the weather, politics, football (much to Harry’s displeasure). The real purpose of Harry’s message didn’t come up until they were nearly done.

“Could we go somewhere and talk, alone?”

It was nearly whispered, and that concerned Merlin. There was nothing wrong with two members of Kingsman having lunch together. They were supposed to be tailors, for God’s sake. It only made sense that they might run across each other at lunch.

“Of course.”

“Down the block, there’s an alleyway that isn’t in view of the cameras. You know the one?”

“Obviously.”

“I’ll go first. Follow me in five,” he said and then stood up. “Lovely having lunch with you.”

Merlin watched him leave and slowly finished his coffee. It had been about five minutes when he got up and followed. Harry was waiting for him, a decent way down the alley. He went to him and quickly found himself being pulled around the corner. 

“Harry?”

“People are talking about us.”

Merlin frowned. They’d been going out for barely a month, and they’d been _careful_. They never left together, never came in together. Merlin was always Merlin at work; Harry was either Galahad or Sir. He wondered idly if that was it; Harry was such a fucking flirt but never flirted with him at work.

“Can they prove anything?”

Harry just stared at him for a moment. “ _Prove_?!”

“Arthur was your mentor,” Merlin said. “And a family friend. He’s not going to remove you over rumors.”

“What about you?”

Merlin gave him a bit of a smirk. “I’ve made myself indispensable, Harry.”

Harry leaned against him, his head on Merlin’s shoulder. He felt Merlin’s arms slipping around his waist and he sighed softly. “You know, I dated quite a bit before Kingsman.”

“I had no idea,” Merlin teased.

“It was mostly to spite my parents. They had very firm ideas about the sort of girl I should marry, and I disagreed.”

Merlin chuckled softly. “Yes, you’re a shit, Harry Hart. Always have been.”

“The _point_ is,” he said, looking into Merlin’s eyes. “I’ve never been this close to anyone before. I can’t lose this.”

“Harry,” Merlin said softly, one hand coming up to cup Harry’s cheek. “Yeh won’t lose this. Yer _mine_ , and yer going to _stay_ mine as long as you’re willing.”

Harry let himself be pulled into a kiss. It was rough; it was passionate; it was brief. They weren’t in the most accepting area, and it make for a lovely afternoon report that they’d been shot by someone they hadn’t even seen for, um, _reasons_.

“I’ll be by tonight at eight.”

Harry smiled softly. “I’ll be waiting.”


	9. To Shut Him Up

“Whatcha think?”

Harry lowered his phone and took a quick glance at Eggsy. He’d just come back from a joint mission with Tequila. They’d stopped at some clothing store in America and Eggsy was now modeling it for him. Eggsy was dressed quite a bit like Tequila; double denim in dark blue with a white button down. Harry was glad the younger man wasn’t wearing a cowboy hat to go with it.

“Personally, I feel the double denim look was best left in the 80s,” he said blandly.

“Oh, c’mon, Harry! You didn’t even have a proper look!”

Harry looked over at Eggsy. He could see that Eggsy was trying (and doing a terrible job of it) to hide a grin and there was mischief in his eyes. He gave Eggsy a casual glance over and saw what Eggsy was so amused by. But… he didn’t let Eggsy see any reaction and went back to reading the news.

“My feelings have not change,” he said.

Eggsy’s grin faltered slightly into a pout. “You don’t see… nothin’ good?”

He looked back at Eggsy again. Eggsy’s thumbs were tucked in the waistband of his jeans and his posture was now designed to draw attention to his crotch. Harry knew what he wanted. Eggsy wanted him to see the zipper and react. The teeth of the zipper were designed to look like stick figures so that, when joined, the stick figures would be engaged in mutual oral sex.

“No,” Harry said. “Do you mean yourself?”

“No, I mean the clothes,” Eggsy said. “Jeans was pretty pricey. Was $69.”

“Darling, if you wanted a pair of jeans, Kingsman could have made them for you.”

“Yeah, but not like these.”

“I see,” Harry said stiffly. “Well, I suppose if you _want_ to buy off the rack.”

“Harrrrrrrrrrrrrry,” Eggsy groaned and tipped his head back. “You really… don’t see…? I dunno how you can’t. I mean… we’re _trained_ for little details. I mean, I get that it’s a little detail, but holy fuck, Harry!”

Harry stood up and went over to Eggsy to pull him into a rough kiss. He grinned a bit as he pulled away. “Why don’t we go upstairs and you may explain your zipper with a demonstration.”

Eggsy stared up at him for a moment. “You? _You_ -”

Harry’s grin grew and he went toward the stairs. “Are you coming or not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a post on tumblr with [this](https://images.plurk.com/vCQwOmUx3cIALLSSbPjNl.png) image in it (I forgot to save the post) and wife & I were just "Eggsy would".


	10. Lazily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> R&D has come up with a new stimulant to help the Agents on their missions. It's onto human testing and Eggsy volunteered to be the first to try it.
> 
> It has an... unexpected... side effect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all. I am sick af rn, so this might be Funnier In My Head. idk
> 
> And we can blame this on my wife. She was telling us all about... I think lesson 30 in Obey Me and the story you unlock on hard mode. And then this happened.

“Anything?”

Eggsy shook his head. “No. Feel fine.”

“Alright,” Merlin said. “Let me see you walk a straight line, toe-to-toe.”

He took Eggsy through several more basic balance tests before nodding toward the climbing wall. There was no belayer waiting and the ropes weren’t ready. There was, however, a thick mat below the wall. There was a banner at the top, bits of the Kingsman logo visible in the folds of the fabric. There were also no handholds close enough to it to just climb and grab.

“Try not to kill yerself,” Merlin said blandly.

“No bonus impression if I hit somewhere?”

Merlin just stared at him for a moment and Eggsy gave him a wink. They both knew that once Merlin snapped into Professional Mode, he shut out his feelings for his two lovers as much as he could. It was easier to have them do whatever damn fool thing they got into next if he compartmentalized it.

Eggsy went over to the wall, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet. He studied it, looking from handhold to handhold, planning out his route. And then he moved, pushing up from the balls of his feet and grabbing his first holds. He scurried up the wall, handhold to handhold, with barely a look, until he was at the top. He eyed the banner, judging the distance, and pushed off, jumping smoothly up and grabbing it. Instead of trying for a handhold, he pushed off of the wall and let himself fall the fifteen or so metres to the floor, landing much more smoothly than he ever had coming down from a skydive.

Merlin’s brow quirked slightly. “Showing off?”

“Fuck no,” Eggsy half-snapped.

Merlin frowned slightly, taking a moment to decipher the tone. As much as anyone else might take it for anger, Merlin could hear what was beneath that reaction. There was as much fear in it as there was the high of a rush.

“Explain.”

“I… I didn’t plan on doin’ that. Even when I jumped off, I was just ‘why in _fuck_ did I do that?!’,” he said. “The fuck is in that pill?”

Merlin shook his head. “You know the rules, Galahad. Once I’m sure it’s out of your system and we have all the effects from you recorded, _then_ you get to be informed of what the pill is for.”

“I felt… I dunno, not exactly manic but… _somethin’_ while I was climbing.”

Merlin nodded. “Go down to Medical. Let them check your vitals.”

“Yes, Merlin,” Eggsy grumbled. He wanted to climb again, to see if he could figure out what that feeling was. And maybe jump off the top again, feel the exhilaration of the (rather short) freefall.

~*~*~*~

Merlin had gone down to R&D to give them his note and his thoughts on Eggsy’s performance. If he’d been honest with Eggsy, even he didn’t know what the pill was supposed to accomplish. That was how he liked to do things with these stimulants. If _he_ didn’t know what to expect, he couldn’t put a bias in his report. The head of R&D had just been setting up what they wanted for Eggsy’s next test when his glasses beeped.

“Merlin.”

“ _Medical, sir. Was there a problem with Galahad’s test?_ ”

“None. Why?”

“ _Well, sir, we haven’t seen him_.”

“I sent him down nearly twenty minutes ago,” Merlin all but growled. “I’ll go find him and _remind_ him of proper procedure before dragging him down there myself.”

He left R&D and headed to his office. He was going to track down Eggsy via security cameras, lock him in the room so he couldn’t leave, and physically drag him to Medical. Maybe by his fuckin’ _ear_.

And when the door to his office slid open, he was more than a little surprised to find Eggsy inside. Eggsy… _sitting_ on his fucking _desk_.

“Galahad,” he said mildly.

That _should_ have been all he needed to get the agent off of his desk, but Eggsy just looked at him, his head cocked ever so slightly and a smirk on his lips.

“Eggsy.”

The word was a warning. Everyone knew how Merlin was about his things, _especially_ his private setup. Everyone knew and no one had actually pushed the matter in years. Not after the punishment he’d given the _last_ agent.

Eggsy pulled his legs up, sitting cross-legged, and put a hand on the side of Merlin’s coffee cup.

“Gary. Unwin. Get down, right now, or so help me.”

Eggsy sloooowly pushed the cup to the edge of the desk.

“I am going to put you on the _worst_ detail I can find. Don’t think just-”

Eggsy pushed the cup the rest of the way. It hit the floor and _shattered_ , coffee going everywhere. Merlin stepped toward him and Eggsy all but _sprang_ away. Merlin could see the… almost smug playfulness?... in Eggsy’s eyes.

“Oh, no,” he breathed.

The way Eggsy had moved up the wall; the blatant refusal to obey an order; the fucking _cup_. 

He had a distinct feeling about _what_ R&D had hoped to accomplish. He went to his personal armory and got a laser scope out of it. He turned his glasses on, not at _all_ to record this for personal reasons; this was _all_ in the name of science. And then he turned the scope on.

Eggsy froze and stared at the red dot on the wall.

Merlin watched the agent bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. He moved the dot sharply and the agent rushed at it. He bit back a grin as he made Eggsy chase it around the room while he made his way to the sofa bed. He kept one in his office for those missions where the agent _needed_ the constant monitoring, that way he and whoever else could switch off easily. He watched as Eggsy got the manic energy out and then shut the scope (and the camera) off.

“Come here, Eggsy,” he said softly, raising the pitch of his voice just a bit. “Come here.”

Eggsy stood there for a moment, long enough for it to be _his_ idea and not Merlin’s, and then went over to the sofa. He sat on it, curling up, and leaned against his handler.

“Well,” Merlin said in that same tone as he started carding his hand through Eggsy’s hair, “I guess we know what that pill does, don’t we?”

Eggsy shifted against him and started slowly giving Merlin’s cheek soft, little licks.

“Yeh know I’m _never_ lettin’ you live this down,” he said, letting Eggsy continue his ‘grooming’. He activated an audio only connection to Medical. “I found Galahad. The stimulant had an, uh, _unexpected_ side-effect. I’ll bring him down when it’s worn off.” 


End file.
